Why Won't Guys Commit? First Date Rules To Follow So He'll Call You Back
Have you ever wondered why it's so hard for guys to commit? Did you have a first date with a guy and you thought things went well and then he never called you back? Do you get confused about what guys want? What exactly are the rules to follow...especially when it comes to sex?
Many women confuse an immediate sense of connection and chemistry with the feeling that this is a mutual attachment as well as a mutually emotional one. The question, "Why won't guys commit?" is asked often by women of all ages following a confusing date. It is true that the dating rituals are very fluid today. Men and women are trying to find their way. What exactly is the right thing to do?
The reality is, there is no standard, one-size-fits-all set of rules. It is true that some people view physical intimacy as a kind of sport, with no strings attached; others might wait a few dates before it happens; and still others are as conflicted as everyone else, waiting months with one person, and allowing it to happen on the first date with someone else.
Why won't guys commit? Here are six rules that will keep you feeling like you have not lost your dignity nor your sanity from a first date with someone:
Rule #1 NEVER sleep with a guy on the first date.
Why won't he commit? If you want to see him again or have hopes of establishing a relationship, your chances of his trusting you or valuing you fall astronomically when sex happens too soon. Research has determined that the longer you wait to sexualize a relationship the better your chances for having a serious romance.
You want the guy to see you as a person, not an object. You want him to care about your feelings, which is hard for him to do when he thinks you share yourself indiscriminately with just anyone.
Rule #2 NEVER go to a guy's place on a first date.
Why won't he commit? Maybe you exercise poor judgment. If you go to his place on a first date, you are putting yourself at risk. You don't know what to expect and there is too much room for him to misinterpret your actions. You might feel tempted to go if you have an easy banter going, or you have had too many drinks for your tolerance level, or he is saying all the right things. Don't go.
Rule #3 Make him feel special.
Why won't he commit? The rule is, a guy likes to know that he is special to you and that you don't want just anyone. You only want him. He can't know that if you go to bed with him before you know each other.
Rule #4 Do not call him.
Why won't guys commit? They are not attracted to needy girls. If he has been to bed with you and not called you nor made time for you, let this go. Don't call him. Look for the lessons learned.
Rule #5 Boundaries are essential.
Why doesn't he call you after the first date? Maybe you didn't understand boundaries. A boundary is the line you draw between you and another person. To cross that line before you know each other is inappropriate. Trespassing over boundaries almost always ruins a relationship.
Rule #6 Don't play games!
Why won't guys commit? They don't like game playing. Once you know your rules, stick to them. Have your boundaries in place and don't play games. You don't need to make him jealous, or flirt with other guys, or be cold and aloof.. You do need to take care of yourself, learning how to build a bank of friends, successes, insight, and self-esteem.
If you make a poor decision, look for what you've learned. And then, get up tomorrow and carry on with your life. Your new life with new rules. You can do it.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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