In these days where there are health care benefits that only few can afford, (those being state lottery winners, captains of industry and Bill Cosby) let us extend our helping hand to three people who can make it their formidable objective. I'm speaking of the three presidential frontrunners: John "Remember Me?" McCain, Barack "No Relation To You Know Who" Obama and Hilary Rodham "Don't Fire Until You See The Whites Of Their Insurance Claim Forms" Clinton. It is up to us, those who hunger for a hospitalization plan that covers our arms and legs, but doesn't cost our arms and legs, to support these powerful three candidates. It is up to us to make them aware that without a comprehensive medical plan, it's virtually impossible to call out sick from our jobs and go play golf.
It's almost dragon breeding season and soon your local animal shelters will be offering these poor homeless fire-breathing creatures (and their cute hatchlings) to unsuspecting customers. Be aware, the majority of dragons adopted from shelters are returned. Be warned that these cute scaly reptiles are extremely high maintenance pets. Here's the top ten reasons to strongly consider before you decide to get a fire breathing dragon as a pet. 10. Dragons are extremely difficult to housebreak, often requiring tons of litter and a box the size of a Volkswagon. 9. Dragons will increase your electric bill during the summer, counteracting your air-conditioning with their hot breath.
Humor is always linked to comedy. It is generally recognized as something acceptable to, and enjoyed by everyone, no matter what his or her age. Learning to smile is one of the first recognizable displayed characteristics of newborn babies. The rhythmic expulsion of air from the lungs is recognized as laughter in a matter of weeks following the birth, and is a primitive form of basic communication. Mother Nature has already equipped young babies with a powerful tool they can use to good advantage as a key factor in human bonding, the building of special relationships and social cohesion in the years that follow. If asked, most people would state they had a good sense of humor.
Have you ever seen a flying saucer? Well, Peggy, my sister, and I have, so therefore, we are believers. We lived near Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri; a S.A.C. (Strategic Air Command) facility. They manned and operated some two hundred Minute Man Missile sites throughout Missouri. One such site was located in a field next to our house. We were used to the comings and goings of the Air Force personnel. It began one summer day in the mid-1960's. I do not remember the exact year and it really does not matter. I heard what sounded like several airplanes flying overhead. This was not an unusual occurrence so I did not think anything of the noise. My father came running into the house yelling at us to go outside and take a look.
Are you looking for something to make you laugh on the Internet? If so then you will want to start surfing the web so you can find cartoon pictures online. There are actually many websites that have amusing images and continually update their photos so you always have something that will add smile to your face. But, you may be wondering how you can go about finding cartoon images. The following tips will help you create a favorite's list of all the best websites with hilarious images. Tip #1 Google It The first thing you should always do when you are looking for something is to Google it. You will almost always find just what you are looking for. So, simply type "funny pictures" in Google and see what is returned.
I've just put on a new pair of socks. Wow, stop right there... that's enough excitement for one day I hear you say. Perhaps you're right, but whilst I was putting on the socks I realized something. When a sock is the "right way" out, the rough sticky-out bits where the stitching is on the INSIDE. Where you foot goes. Those little seam lines are in there waiting to get under or between your toes and make you suffer... .sometimes its ok, they don't manage to get into the critical position. But sometimes, when they know you can't stop to adjust them, they slip into place and every step hurts... it feels like there's a tiny pebble in your shoe, stabbing your foot with every stride.
Don't you just love pharmaceutical ads? I had to laugh at one the other day. I mean really laugh, out loud, until everyone was looking at me like I was an idiot. Why yes, that does happen to me all the time. How did you...? Never mind. Anyway, this one was a TV spot for some kind of an anti-depression pill. The ad started by listing all the positive benefits of taking the drug. "Take control of your depression and get your life back." Then, it dropped the volume and went into something like 15 minutes of some guy speed reading all the possible side effects associated with taking the drug. "Possible sexual side effects could occur. However, the most common side effects are high blood pressure, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, blood poisoning, insanity, exploding eardrums, disembowelment, mummification, snot crystallization, increased body odor, psychotic episodes, and an overwhelming urge to seek a public office.
I have always enjoyed nature programs and science documentaries on television. There seems to be always something to learn about and something new to explore and wonder. I feel like I am actually benefiting from this rather than becoming brain dead watching soap operas I adore. Once in a while a documentary will fascinate me and at the same time make me gag. This particular one on parasites did just that! I could not believe that billions of bed bugs live with you in your bed and in your pillows! They thrive on your sweat and feast on it for years and years. Imagine bedbugs seeing you lie there snoring and saying, "Hey guys, it's chow time, come and get her!
I woke up the other morning around 4 AM and there was this beautiful young girl in our bed between me and my wife. She was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and she smiled when I opened my eyes and she said ... "Hi daddy! " Hmmm ... "What are you doin' in my swamp?" I asked her in my best Shrek impersonation. This, as always, produced a smile. "Sleeping, " she said. "You don't look like you're sleeping to me, " said I. Mommy, who was now awake, decided to try and return her to her own bedroom and that seemed to work, but I never got back to sleep. So, I tossed and turned for about an hour and finally relented at about 5 AM and got up. I crank started the dial-up connection and went to the kitchen to start a cup of coffee.
It's a catchy title for a story. It reminds me of one of Aesop's Fables where there will be some lesson instilled in young minds who endure reading it. That's probably not going to happen in this tale. Although, somebody might learn something from my mistake. That's only a mere theory with no statistics to back it up whatsoever. It started out just like every morning. I go to the bathroom, wash my hands, turn on the computer, and then I go make my cup of coffee. Once the coffee maker is started, I return to the computer to crank-start the ancient phone-line modem and connect to the Internet. The coffee maker chugs and churns on the kitchen counter. It's a two-cup model and it does just about the perfect job of brewing our favorite gourmet blend coffee.